


I May Not Live to See Our Glory

by BeatriceandBenedict



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes is not okay, Captain America: The First Avenger, F/M, Kind of threesome but not really, M/M, One Shot, Peggy Carter is a saint, Period-Typical Homophobia, SO SORRY, Steve is only talked about, This is really sad, i made myself sad writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 19:14:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6766423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeatriceandBenedict/pseuds/BeatriceandBenedict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve had approached her, confessing to his affair with Bucky and refusing to leave him, Peggy was less surprised than she should have been. Men don’t singlehandedly pull apart a Hydra complex for just anybody. But when they offered an arrangement where both Bucky and Peggy could have Steve—Peggy still wasn’t sure whose idea that was—that was a surprise. She hadn’t been completely sure it would work, Steve splitting his time between the two of them, but he had no problem showering them both with attention. </p>
<p>But it couldn’t last forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I May Not Live to See Our Glory

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is really sad which surprised me because I generally don't like sad things but oh well.
> 
> The title is from Hamilton :)

A knock at the door broke Peggy’s concentration, and she sighed. She had been on a roll with the files she needed to complete, and whoever was at the door was going to put her behind schedule. 

“Come in,” she called out anyways, grateful for the break. Being on a roll didn’t make paperwork any more enjoyable. 

“Agent Carter,” Sergeant Barnes’ head poked in the door and Peggy suddenly wished she was still doing paperwork. “You got a minute?”

“I suppose,” she said shortly, nodding at the chair in front of her desk. Barnes entered the makeshift office, which was actually probably closer to a closet. The French hostel they'd been invited to stay at wasn't exactly built to accommodate a small army. He looked suspiciously nervous. “What do you need, Sergeant?”

“I, uh, heard you got into a bit of an argument with Steve,” he winced, obviously uncomfortable. Peggy felt a stab of sympathy that was quickly swallowed by annoyance. 

“Does anyone in this camp have anything to do besides gossip?” she asked dryly. The Howling Commandos were worse than a dozen old ladies when it came to sticking their noses where they didn’t belong.

“I just wanted you to know I never asked Steve to say any of that,” Barnes continued, ignoring her exasperated comment. “Stevie was way out of line, he shouldnt’a said any of that to you.”

“No, he was right,” Peggy frowned. The argument had been ugly, but Steve wasn’t wrong. “I'm afraid I have been giving you a bit of a cold shoulder.”

“I'm a big boy, ma’am, I can handle it.” He gave her his usual cocky smirk, but this time it was tinged with a deep sorrow she wasn’t sure what to do with.

“We agreed, when we started this, we'd treat each other as equals,” Peggy protested. “I haven’t. We both love Steve, and he loves both of us. I haven’t been giving you the respect you deserve.”

“But we aren't equal, are we?” Barnes said sadly, fiddling with a button on his jacket. “Here it don't matter, they don't care where you stick your dick as long as you keep quiet about it and kill Krauts.”

“Barnes—please," she tried to stop him, but he powered through. 

“I'm not an idiot, I know what's going to happen. I'm not stupid to think I have a chance after this war is over.”

“Steve loves you.”

“And I love him but that doesn’t mean shit in this world.”

“What are you saying?” Peggy asked, slightly confused even though she had a grim idea where this might be heading. 

“I'm saying I'm going to back off,” he sighed. His eyes refused to meet hers, and if she didn't know better she'd say he was tearing up. “This ends no matter what happens, might as well do it on my terms.”

“If you leave him, it'll kill him.” Steve would not take Bucky leaving him well, some days Peggy thought Bucky was the only one holding him together. “He’ll fight for you, he already has fought for you.”

“I'll do it slowly, and you start taking up more of his time.” Barnes said. It was clear he'd given this a lot of thought. “Find more excuses to distance myself, and you distract him. Punk won't even notice.”

“I don't want you to feel like you have to do this,” Peggy frowned. Her feelings for Steve aside, Barnes loved Steve to the moon and back and that level of devotion wasn’t something the world saw often.

“Well I sure as hell don't want to,” he muttered under his breath, and Peggy got the feeling she wasn't supposed to hear that. “It's for the best, Stevie won’t get as hurt this way.”

“I just—I’m afraid I don’t completely understand,” Peggy exhaled slowly, trying to wrap her mind around exactly what he was saying. “Why exactly are you doing this?”

“Because I can’t make Steve happy.”

“That’s not true,” she protested. Steve’s face lit up every time Bucky walked into the room, honestly it was a wonder that more people hadn’t caught on to their relationship. She still couldn’t tell if Steve looked at her like that. 

“He’s happy now,” Barnes mumbled. He looked tired. “That’ll change, when he realizes we can’t keep doing this forever.”

Peggy felt a wave of fury with an intensity that surprised her. What an absolutely ridiculous society they lived in, with so much invested in what was in one's pants. She couldn’t amount to anything because she had a vagina and Steve and Bucky couldn’t be together because they both had dicks. It was incredibly frustrating. 

“I assume you’ll carry on with this no matter what I say?” she asked. Barnes clearly had his mind made up, and even though it seemed like a smart choice (she did not want to deal with the fallout of Captain America being sexually involved with his sergeant), she knew it possibly could rip their little unit apart. 

“Yes ma’am.”

“You don’t have to do this, no one is forcing you to leave him,” she said, instead of trying to explain the insanely complicated mix of emotions running through her head. Resentment towards the world they lived in, heartache for the exhausted man sitting in front of her, pity for Steve who she was pretty sure would figure out what was going on despite Bucky’s assurances he wouldn’t, and a guilty relief that she wouldn’t have to worry about stepping on Barnes’ toes anymore. 

“I know,” he nodded, getting out of the chair and heading for the door. “Thanks for hearing me out, ma’am.”

“I’d let you,” she blurted, no idea where this desperate need to keep Bucky and Steve together had come from. “If—If Steve and I happen to get married after the war, I’ll let you stay with him. I won’t let you get shut out.” 

Bucky paused before stepping back into the hallway, glancing at Peggy mournfully. “Thing is, I got a feeling I’m not going to survive this war.”


End file.
